Reno The Babysitter
by ohxasphyxiationx
Summary: Cloud should have known leaving the children with Reno would have disastrous results.


**Warnings: **Sexual innuendo that will probably sully everything you loved as a child.

**Author's Note: **This little random thing was written for the lovely **Sue Dunham**, who I adore. Give her Reno and she is amazing. I tried my hand at it and well, _this_ was the result. :]

* * *

Reno stared at the two children- currently distracted and playing ShinRapoly- and wondered how in the world he had gotten into this mess.

Rude had decided to vacation with Tifa. His partner's absence left Rufus with little choice but to grant the redhead his vacation time as well; time Reno didn't really want or need.

This left Reno with absolutely no reason _not _to watch the kids while Cloud was away making deliveries. After all, the children were a part of Cloud's life, and if Reno wanted to be a part of his life too, he'd have to make some sacrifices. Learning how to get along and take care of them was just one of those sacrifices, right?

At least, that's what Cloud had said upon trying to convince Reno that babysitting wouldn't be so bad. It was sound reasoning Reno supposed, but it did little to sway him in the direction Cloud had hoped for. Reno was a Turk. Kind, sentimental, lovey-dovey personal gain did little to titillate him or excite him.

So he had refused, quite adamantly at first.

When Cloud began to barter with sex, Reno began to break. It had only taken Cloud's promise of, 'I'll make it worth your while,' before he agreed, plastering on a phony smile and gushing about how adorable the children were. He'd absolutely _love _to watch the kids.

Well, as long as he got what he wanted out of the whole deal.

As far as Reno was concerned, kids were nothing more than snot-nosed, germ infested brats. The whole lot of them.

But for amazing, passionate, kinky, can't-walk-for-a-week sex with Cloud, Reno was willing to do anything.

* * *

Denzel idolized Cloud. That much was obvious, when everything Reno attempted to do was put to shame in comparison to Cloud's utter ownage of every task. Cloud played better soccer than he did. Cloud actually _knew _how to play Hungry Hungry Chocobos. Cloud was really good at video games.

If the kid didn't shut his mouth, Reno would tell him a few other things Cloud was really, _really_ good at.

"Cloud makes better sandwiches," Denzel commented offhandedly, staring at the sad looking meal in front of him. There was mustard leaking out of the sides, a large wet spot in the bread, and the cold-cuts were shredded.

_The nerve of that kid! _He had gone through a lot of trouble making that sandwich. He didn't have to feed him. Cloud owed him big time.

The thought sent Reno's mind wandering. A Cloud sandwich… That sounded delectable. Long, juicy sausage; that was what he liked in his sandwiches, in between--

"Food is food kid," came Reno's reply. "Cloud may make the best sandwiches, but he couldn't do it without my buns."

Denzel stared at him disbelievingly for a moment before asking, "You make bread, Reno?"

"Sure kid," Reno answered, nudging the plate in Denzel's direction. "Now eat your food before it gets cold."

* * *

"Reno?"

He started a bit in surprise upon hearing the meek voice. He had been sitting at the bar, sipping at some ale he had found behind the counter. It was pretty good stuff for such a rundown little place. A few seats away, Marlene had been coloring busily by herself. She was a pretty good kid, as far as Reno was concerned. She didn't bother much and was surprisingly polite; very unlike Denzel, who whined obnoxiously every other second out of boredom and Reno's inability to entertain him like Cloud would.

"What's up, kid?"

Marlene looked at him for a moment, hesitant, before asking, "Will you color with me?"

Reno was surprised for a moment, but simply shrugged and moved to sit next to Marlene. She'd stood out of his way most of the day, so he couldn't find any reason to be too upset about her request. Shiva knew a little coloring was better than anything Denzel would ask of him.

"I'm drawing a picture of Cloud, Denzel and I," the small girl said, peering up at him from the drawing she was working on. "Do you like it?"

"Good stuff kid," Reno commented with a bit of enthusiasm. He had no real idea how to talk to children, but it seemed like compliment enough. "Looks pretty good to me, so whaddya need my help for?"

"I don't need your help," Marlene stated clearly. She wasn't a baby! "Cloud draws with me sometimes, and when he does he talks to me about stuff. He's really good at drawing."

Reno's eyes widened in surprise. He knew plenty about Cloud; little by little he'd learned more and more as Cloud had learned to trust him. It had been a long process, but at the end of it all he felt as though he _intimately_ knew Cloud, which had made the entire struggle worth it. Despite all of that, he didn't know his blond-haired lover had a knack for drawing.

"What should I draw?"

The little girl pondered for a moment, her brows furrowed and her index finger tapping her chin before she answered, "You can draw a picture of you and Cloud together!"

With a shrug, Reno picked up a black crayon and began drawing a few lines. A picture of him and Cloud sounded easy enough. He'd never been good at drawing, but his only critic would be an eight-year-old. There was nothing to worry about.

He started with a short stick figure, topped with a scribble of yellow for hair. Reno smiled with satisfaction. That certainly looked like Cloud's spiky chocobo-styled do. Eagerly grabbing a sky-blue crayon he drew small dots for Cloud's beautiful blue eyes. So far, it was a pretty accurate depiction of the blond if he did say so himself. Staring over at Marlene's drawing he saw that the young girl's drawing wasn't much better. She had paid a little bit more attention to detail, but that didn't matter much to Reno. Either way, Marlene's picture was delightfully cute.

It only took a glance at Marlene's picture to bring a devious smile to the redhead's lips.

An extra line there, another stick figure stooping over crookedly, and mess of red scribbles for Reno's gorgeous hair and his picture was complete. He added a sloppy red heart for good measure and stared at it proudly, crossing his arms and grinning all the while.

He had managed to finish his drawing in an impressive amount of time, and his look of triumph did not go unnoticed by the small girl sitting next to him. Curious brown eyes peeked at his paper, brows wrinkling in confusion.

Catching the little girl's clueless expression Reno began to whine.

"What?!"

"It's a really nice picture, Reno," the small girl rushed to explain. For a moment she sat there staring at him with wide eyes, contemplating what she was about to say next. "But what's that?"

Reno eyes darted down to where a small finger was pointing. Utter horror came across the redhead's pretty features before he gracelessly facepalmed, _hard._

_Boy oh boy, was he gonna have fun explaining this one._

"That's one of Cloud's arms," Reno responded with a shrug, hoping his nonchalant attitude would sate Marlene's eager curiosity.

"But Cloud has two arms, right up here!" The girl made sure to point out the two lines that clearly were Cloud's arms.

"So then it must be his leg. Cloud's just doing a funny dance."

"But he has two legs, right there!" Again, Marlene made sure to point out the other two lines that were indeed intended to be Cloud's legs.

"Um, it's his sword?"

"Oh, yeah!" The girl smiled, seemingly pleased with the answer before eying the drawing again. "So why is Cloud's sword poking you in the butt?"

Reno had decided to take a sip of his drink at that very moment, thinking he was out of the woods. As soon as Marlene posed her second question, Reno sprayed his beverage all over the bar.

"Because," the redhead answered very seriously, drawing the girl close enough to hear him whisper, "If Cloud hears about this, he will most definitely kick my butt. So let's keep this between us, all right kid? Our little secret."

Marlene crossed her heart and gave him a wink before returning to her drawing, adding an extra line for Cloud's sword.

* * *

It was almost midnight when Cloud finally strolled through the door. Reno had been sitting at the bar, patiently waiting as he drank some heavy concoction he'd made of whatever liquor the bar had in stock. Giving Cloud a wry grin, he hopped off of his barstool and sauntered over to Cloud, wrapping his arms around broad shoulders.

"Welcome home," Reno practically purred. "The kids are in bed, sleeping like little angels.

"Oh?" Cloud's brows rose in surprise, and he couldn't stop a faint smirk from forming on his lips. "Thanks again for watching them."

"No problem," Reno said with a dreamy sigh. "They're as much a part of my life as they are yours, y'know?"

Cloud was silent for a moment, plucking Reno's drink out of his hand and giving it a sniff. At the smell of hard liquor, Cloud wrinkled his nose.

"Reno, how drunk are you?"

The redhead giggled.

"Pretty drunk. Whatsit matter to ya? Let's go make _sandwiches_, yo!"

Despite the redhead practically dragging him up the stairs and into the bedroom, Cloud couldn't help but protest.

"No way, Reno. We are _not_ using mayonnaise as lube again, no matter what you say!"

_~fin_

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* * *

**Can't say I didn't warn you. Reviews are love and are sure to make me squee in delight. :]**_


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